Sometimes I catch myself in a moment of pure bliss. I felt one tonight when we were coming home from Dutch's first time at the movies. I am happy most of the time but sometimes I am go go go so I don't really FEEL it. I have been working my ass off lately and it feels good and exhausting at the same time. I have been enjoying motherhood and family time when I have it and it is amazing and again, exhausting at the same time. I think because I care so much about both things that I put my heart and soul into both with takes more energy. Tonight I was able to actually feel some of the down right, absolutely, in the present, a-ha, here is is-happiness. I am not sure if most people feel this all the time constantly, but I get bursts of it. It is like all of a sudden I realize I am exactly where I want to be and exactly how I want to feel.

I am proud of this because I have been working on happiness on a grander scale for the past 7 years. It all started with the book, The Secret. I know it is a controversial book, maybe a bit cheesy, but that book led me to the spiritual world of many things I never knew existed. Energy, spirit, the laws of the Universe, Mediums, and really just being in charge of what I create and who I am in this world.

I don't even know where to start so I guess I will start with the resource I discovered after the Secret. I went onto i tunes and searched for the Law of Attraction. Something by Abraham Hicks came up and I put it on my ipod and went out for a walk. I had no idea who Abraham Hicks was or what I was about to listen to. This was my first real lesson in trusting my gut and not turning away from something just because it was "weird." Abraham Hicks was that weird. I am walking along, listening to this nice couple talk about things that made so much sense to me. I loved their message, their calming tone, their loving thoughts about the world. Then they explained that Abraham was channeled through Ester Hicks. Abraham is from the other side and is coming through Ester to help us understand why we are here or something like that. Um...........what the f$%#. That is literally what I thought. I got a weird feeling in my tummy and was instantly scared because I had never heard of anything like this. So this Abraham voice comes through Ester and her voice sounds weird and I was about to turn it off when something stopped me. I think this is the first time I really heard my own inner voice. It is like when you know it is YOU inside your own head. Well my inner Casey said, don't turn this off. Keep listening. So I did. I did and I actually was blown away by the lessons Abraham was teaching me. (if anyone reading this thinks I am crazy, Oprah can vouch for Abraham Hicks. She loves her some Abraham. For real. I did not know this when I was having my AHA) I decided then and there without even realizing it that I was on a journey.

The tough parts of life put us on our path to awakening and success. By the time I started to seek out things, books, people to help me, I felt a little lost. I had I wanted to feel good in my skin, to feel proud to be me, to let go of all of the pain of life that was holding me back. When I look back at how much energy I invested into the wrong things, I just shake my head in disbelief.

It's funny, I have been thinking about blogging forever. Thinking about it, like, I need to do it but I don't know what to say......
Tonight I decided to just sit down and write and see what came out.
I would have never thought I would write about Abraham. How very vulnerable of me.

A few months after listening to anything Abraham Hicks that I could find, I went to see Abraham Hicks live, for a conference.  THAT was  a trip.  Until next time..

The Full Monty (Monty Burgess, the Psychic, that is)

I heard about Monty through a friend at work. She has had sessions with him and thought he would be a good fit for me. I told her I really wanted to connect with my mom and get information that confirmed it was her. I have alot of grief that I still hold onto and I am still working on following a path to release it. I scheduled a phone session with Monty because he is in the Puyallup area, which is about 30-40 mins away. I really didnt know what to expect from my reading with him. I didnt even really have too many questions, I just wanted a connection. That is definately what I got.

I called Monty right at 11 on the dot. I used my lunch break at work and I realize after the call this should have been done on a non working day. It was so intense and very powerful. The last thing I wanted to do when it was over was log onto my email. I felt a bit funny at first becuase I didnt know what Monty was seeing or feeling from me. Could he read my mind?! What exactly do you say to someone who can talk to the other side? When he says how are you, I found it hard to just say my standard-good, how are you? Instead I felt like telling him my deepest, darkest secrets. I didnt, not at first. I didnt want to bring up my mom until he did.

He started to scan my energy and I instantly started to cry. He didnt even have to say much but I just felt this overwhelming sense of grief. It was like he was bringing it up so I could release it before I even opened my mouth. He was so kind and talked me through what he was doing and how he was helping me to heal already. I was a little overwhelmed. I did not expect it to be so powerful. I thought he would say something like, ya there is a lady here she wants to talk to you, blah blah. Instead it was very much an internal knowing and physical feeling of release of some of the grief I have been carrying. I think there is alot in there so its not just going to leave after one day but he definately gave me hope. He helped me to realize I was still feeling abandoned, scared, and sad deep down. Not all of me, of corse, but a piece. He pointed out that I often dont allow myself to feel all of the happiness available to me, which I didnt even know. Probably good to know, dont you think?! He told me that the little girl who lost her mom never really dealt with the pain or the loss. Sure I cried but I never really had someone to help me through the loss back then. It is no one's fault, it just happened that way. It was almost like a feeling of relief washed through me. I could so relate to what he was saying on such a deep level that it was absolutely incredible.

Monty went on to describe my mom. He said he had a woman there and she was shorter with brown hair. He asked if I had lost my mom. BINGO! I know its a vague description but for me, I knew he had connected with her. In that moment, I could feel her energy so strongly. Without divulging all of the details, -dont know if I am ready for that yet, Monty allowed me to connect to her. I received messages that made sense to me and that allowed me to take a step forward. I felt so loved and so healed in that moment. Monty was so understanding and allowed me to just be in this experience even when I tried to worry about the next steps. He made it all seem so easy and effortless.

By the end of the call, which was about 35 or so minutes, I felt so at peace. He reminded me that I did the healing during this session, he only helped to guide me. I asked him what the heck do I do now? He laughed and told me I just needed to enjoy this feeling. He told me to just allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling and be fine with it.

I felt inspired to start this blog because I realize my journey to love myself and to be happy is about to hit mock speed. I have a feeling that once I can embrace all of me and leave the negative behind, amazing things can happen.

The truth comes out

I shop at H&M, I workout, I love having wine with my girlfriends, hanging with my fam, watching reality tv, being a mom, walking my dog. I also like researching the soul, connecting with mediums and psychics, learning to meditate, reading books about how to evolve as a spirit having a human experience rather than a human having a spiritual experience. Basically what I am trying to say is, I like the Woo Woo. Its almost like I feel I need to come out of the closet. Part of me wants to be honest so others will realize they can have the freedom to do the same. The other part is thinking, oh Casey-people are going to think you are wierd! I definately dont want to force my beliefs or experiences on anyone else. I think as long as someone is feeling loved, loving, connected to spirit, then hallelujah. Whether you are Buddist, Christian, Catholic, Hindu or anything else, AWESOME! I welcome all religious beliefs that love an honor everyone no matter what. I dont even really think about religion all that much but I know some of my very religious relatives might see this and think Casey has gone to the dark side. I did name my dog, Darth Vader but I assure you, I have not. I have never been more peaceful, calm or full of loving energy in my whole life and I want to continue to find even more. I love writing and have been having a bit of writer's block. My past blogs have been all over the map and have never been a very consistant theme. Really, anything in my life is connected to Woo Woo land whether its having a tough day with my son or trying to meditate. Its all connected and its all good. I spoke to an amazing medium today that I think has really motivated me to let go and start speaking my mind. Its not like I have psychic readings with Whoopi Goldberg and her crytal ball everyday. I think the idea of Mediums could scare people a bit and that is exactly the opposite of what it is. After my phone session with Monty Burgess (www.montyburgess.com), I felt more alive than I have in a long time. He was allowing me to connect to my mom and release part of my grief that I still hold onto. I consider it more like grief couseling. That doesnt sound so scary, does it? In this blog I will discuss my journey to release any negativity in my life. I want to share the tools I use to follow my spiritual path whether its a yoga class, a session with a medium, a workshop of seeing people's aura's (coming at the end of the month, so excited!) meditating (or trying to), connecting with a book or just being able to remain loving when the situation is difficult. My son and being a mom is definately a great teacher on how to stay in the positive even when things are CA RAZY! This will be my documentation of finding love in my life no matter what form it comes. I am ready to blog! Stella got her blog back! HOLLER! woah-I am excited. p.s. I hope my OM symbol at the top of the page did not scare anyone. It just means IT IS or WILL BE. Not so scary, is it? TALLY HO!